Saturday, February 14, 2009

Negative - Big Bummer

We are not going to be having any babies it seems. We just used the last of our frozen stock for IVF and the test was negative so we have decided to let nature take it's course and if it happens naturally it happens. We have spent so much time, money and heartache trying to get pregnant over the last nearly 6 years and I think it is time to accept that it isn't happening this way. So we will concentrate on getting back to an even playing field financially again and see what life brings. Not the best way to spend Valentine's Day. We are both devastated as are our families. Thank you to everyone who hasn't been able to function for the past week with all their fingers and toes crossed for us. Sometimes all the love and prayers and luck in the world still doesn't bring blessings to a deserving couple who would have made a wonderful set of parents together. All of this makes me feel so blessed that we have Christopher and that he has turned out to be such a great person due to our influence as well as his unique character.
Chris is 21 on Sunday and spending it away in Tassie so we will be missing him terribly. But thinking of him constantly.

Tracy and Michael


  1. Hello, Love. It's my first time visiting your lovely blog and I wanted to thank you for the lovely mini kit for v day and send you a note.
    I understand you and DH are trying to have lil ones, and I wanted to give you a big hug for the sad results you recently recieved. I always wondered why some are blessed with lil ones while others strive to achive that blessing and it was some years ago when one who was not blessed told me that the Lord had other plans for her and her DH. At first it broke their hearts for some time but as time went on something amazing happened to them. They went on with their lives, together, and decided one year to take a trip to a another place. It was in that place that they discovered a small orphange that was in great despair. Something arose in their hearts and they stayed longer then they planned to help that orphange. They helped build and dig and brought that orphange to a state that those who resided there could call a real home. When they left, they decided together that this was the place of their calling and so when they returned home they began setting aside a lil money in savings and sent it to the orphange to keep the place in the state they left it in and make sure the lil ones have parties and gifts and especially and education. They made callings for teachers and care givers to help out with the place and even a doctor to tend to them.
    Every day they recieved letters and pictures from those who live there and any new ones who arrive. Every year they return and stay for a couple of months each time.
    I asked her why they didn't adopt any of the lil ones and she said 'We did. All of them.'
    Now this may not be what the Lord has in the plans for you but given time and mending I am sure your callings will shine a light so bright you will not miss it. We are all blessed with what we really need even if it's not what we really want.
    My heart goes out to you both and I will keep you in my prayers.
    Love and big Hugs

  2. I am so terrible sorry to hear your news Tracy & Michael and I really can't express myself very well with words as to what I would like to say to a wonderful couple who certainly do have so much love to give. My heart really goes out to you. We were blessed to have one child although we were nearly 7 years married before I fell pregnant and for some reason he remained an only.

    You are the most incredible couple to have taken as many disappointments as you have and still be as giving as you are.

    I will continue to keep you in my prayers.

    (Hugs) Keryn

  3. So very sorry that IVF did not work out. It is so difficult to understand why people that want children so badly are not blessed with them and then others who don't know how to love have many. Prayers are with you .

  4. All I can say is "I feel your pain". Truly I do. Although I never went as far as IVF we did spend time, effort, and tears on fertility treatments only to end up with an emergency hysterectomy due to Endometriosis. The thought of not ever being able to have any more (we were blessed with a son after almost 5 years of marriage) was truly devastating. I can tell you, as a Christian, I did go through my season of depression, but God was was there for me! Almost 2 years later the Lord "dropped" an adoption situation in our me when I say it could have ONLY been God. About 5 weeks later our daughter was born and this past week we celebrated her 4th birthday. I don't know what your thoughts are on adoption--but let me tell you--it's a wonderful way to mend that broken heart! She is loved as if she were truly born of me. We can't imagine life without her! Don't let your pain of not being able to bear your own children keep you from adopting a beautiful child that needs a home more than anything else in the world! You and your husband may be just the family they need! My thoughts are with you. Feel free to e-mail if you would like to talk.

  5. So sorry to hear your sad news.

  6. So much many many prayers! I do feel your pain and I do understand. After our first we could not physically have more, but we did adopt, and we have been incredibly blessed. I am mostly sorry for the pain. I know it is so deep, and I pray for the comfort of the Lord to wrap you in peace and blessings!

    Hugs from the heart,

  7. I'm so sorry - I have a friend in your position too - it's very hard. Lots of love. :)

  8. I'm sorry to read of your disappointment. It took us over six years of trying for a child before we got our daughter. Once she was born, I thought there would be others, but it wasn't meant to be. Sometimes I wonder why so many who don't want children (or don't love the ones they have) do get pregnant, and those who want children can't have them.

    I cried (with joy) when I read the story of Pam's friends. They had their prayers answered in such an amazing way! Not what they expected or hoped for, but yet they ended up with many children!

    I will pray that you will be blessed in whatever way God has in store for you!


  9. My heart goes out to you and your family.

  10. Oh I am so sorry. This loss is so difficult and really makes no sense at all!

  11. Awww Tracy, I'm so sorry. I prayed so hard. Now I will pray for peace in your heart (and a suprise bundle the natural way). God bless!


  12. Big hugs Tracy!:( I wish I could give ya a real one instead of a cyber one but this will have to do! On another note I hope Chris had a good Birthday! :) Shannon


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